as developers, i believe we are all cursed with our passion for our own work.
as developers, we pour our heart and soul into the code we write.
as developers, it takes a toll on our bodies and lives.
while i dont mean to generalize, especially as i am one individual, i believe most may agree with me on this.
there are developers who are able to balance their work and their lives.
then there are developers who cannot. i think i am one of them. no, i know i am one of them.
i do not value my time as much as i do for contributing to a community.
i do not value my schoolwork as much as i should.
i do not value my life as much as i would like too.
sometimes this helps others. its always after the fact.
most of the time this goes unnoticed. i dont mind in the slightest.
i write, talk, and think to myself. it is always talking and programming to a void. nobody to see. nobody to care. i dont mind in the slightest.
they never value it.
they never notice it.
they never love it.
but... who should i be required to please? i say its nobody.
i can write how i want. i can code how i want. i can think how i want.
i am given the ultimate control over creativity with nobody to please.
such freedom? maddening.
such freedom? freeing.
such freedom? exciting.
i can tell you firsthand it is not a fun experience.
however, it allows me to write things like this.
i can write broken poetry that i cant even consider a poem. yet i can redefine the word poetry.
forever, i will never be influential.
forever, i will never be noticed.
forever, i will never be happy.
despite this, i am given the ultimate gift.
i am allowed to give zero fucks.
when i write here i may feel unnoticed yet noticed.
