i consider myself a starving artist. drained of both light and creativity. a spark never turned to flame.
i do not use a brush or a pencil. i use the black squares that have led to my downfall, and lighted up the best moments in my life. the keys of my keyboard.
whether they are illuminated by the sunlight or lit up by tiny lights behind the keys, they will always be brighter than my drive for life.
they call me lazy.
they call me ugly.
they call me a failure.
they aren't far from the truth
i have given up hope
no matter how bright it is outside, the light will always be dead
they will never know my name.
they will never appreciate me.
they will never see how bright i could be.
from the lines of code i write
to the edits i make
and the moments i share
they could just tell me thanks for once.
they could look at me for more than a second.
they could smile at me for once.
but it will never happen
i will forever be unable to feed my body the energy it needs
it will never get what it deserves for carrying me through this life
maybe its better than having everything i need.
maybe thats what makes my art art.
maybe the depression is my meaning.
